worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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