btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
