It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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