you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
