I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I lost the right to judge tonight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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