She announced her abortion via fbk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
