Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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