I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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