I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When did angry sex become our thing?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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