That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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