VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
