shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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