So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize