apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
