haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
