You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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