just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize