hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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