My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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