some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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