he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
