I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
