I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
