After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
