Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
