I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
