One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
