Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
