Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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