He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
