She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Life is so much better after having sex.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
