real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
