I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
