the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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