come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
