ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
ttyl tear gas
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
