I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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