I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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