How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
