That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
