girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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