If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
third nipple confirmed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
