this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
