i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
