She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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