She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize