you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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