Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
