We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize