Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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