I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
