The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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