i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
