...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
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