help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
