Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
