Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
