Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
