oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
