I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize