Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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