Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
