I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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