ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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