literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
