We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
